T-ball

Javan had another T-ball game tonight.

He in number 10 and I found out this weekend that both Luke AND Seth were number 10 too!! What a funny coincidence! Shana said she thought one of JR and Kim's boys were number 10 in t-ball too but i'm not sure.

Anyway, he is doing great :-) Really getting the hang of how to play.

Here are some pics!

https://picasaweb.google.com/Merriettgrace/JavanSTball?authkey=Gv1sRgCP7X7beZp9mj6AE

16 week pic

Its almost 1 am and I just can't sleep.

There are a few things against me. 

1. Our AC isn't working and its HOT and we are all sleeping in the basement ...which is much cooler... but is not my comfy familiar bed.

2. I got the GAD antibody test results back today and I'm still sorting through my thoughts about it all...

I think the only way I'm going to get some sleep is if I finally write it all out, since I've spent the past 3 hours hashing it out in my mind.

I tested positive for GAD antibodies.  Now from what I understand, everyone has GAD antibodies in their body... but a higher level is a good sign that there is something attacking my pancreas which is what is causing type 1 diabetes.

Now, with that said, I've googled and googled this and the whole thing is really very confusing .... mostly because of the terminology and I'm not a doctor...I did read in a few places that just because you have high GAD antibodies does not mean 100% that you are type 1... but we are talking about google here and  that might be a bit of a stretch since I kind of fit in the perfect case for type 1 (especially the unexplained weight loss over the past year).

So, I guess, if I want to be "real" with myself, I should just do what my doctor says, take the insulin and eat the carbs like he wants me to.

But.... I'm JUST not ready to give in to that. 

One reason is that other doctor I saw... the OBGYN that went back to school and is now helping people lose weight and fight diabetes without insulin.  There are things that he said that make SO MUCH SENSE that I can't let it go.  Mainly, our body needs carbs for energy, and that's when we should be using them. The more we plan on burning the more carbs we eat... and vice versa. That makes sense. And since I don't spill ketones in my urine (meaning my body isn't burning my fat/protein storehouse), i don't see (and neither does this doctor) anything wrong with just adjusting my diet to keep my numbers down as long as I am getting enough calories.

The other reason is that I truly believe that God made our bodies in a way that they can heal themselves. I think it is rare but it can happen with some major sacrifices.

Heh.hem. Like drinking the insulin generator which, I gave up on, by the way ... because it was so nasty I couldn't handle it... and Lance called me a ninny but I don't care cause it was NASTY!!!

But, I have made some major sacrifices, like eating a salad 3 meals a day with a variety of greens, eating brussel sprouts, cabbage, green beans, carrots and lettuce all raw in at least one meal a day - and some other major sacrifices.

With sacrifices like these and some others, i believe God made our bodies in a way that they will heal themselves.

I just BELIEVE it. I believe God will heal me. I believe my body will repair itself. 

I JUST BELIEVE IT!! 

I can't really explain this level of belief that I have but its strong enough for me to buy brussel sprouts at the store (which have always been one of my least favorite veggies).... Now THAT'S something!! haha.

I believe it so much, I was laying in bed daydreaming about the letter I'm going to write to my ENDO next year when I am completely healed... thanking him for being such a great doctor and teaching him a different way of looking at medicine.

The whole thing brings me to tears but it is a different kind of tears then the ones I shed that day at Taco Bell.

Its tears of frustration because I can't explain to a doctor who has gone to school a heck of a lot longer than I did that I know in my heart is right.

Its tears of contentment because I've finally found a diet that works for me, gives me the calories I need, and keeps my numbers in an excellent range.

Its tears of faith at a level that i have never experienced before.

Its tears of fullness of God's assurance that He's got it under control

Its tears of anxiousness to see what the future is going to hold!

At this very moment I can feel the Holy Spirit's loving arms holding me tight and I am so SURE that He's got it covered.

He made the blind see, the lame walk, He's raised people from the dead, He's cured cancer, He's brought people out of addictions, He's helped the helpless, He is a God of MIRACLES and I BELIEVE IN HIM!

My big boy can now read his "my first reading" books by himself! So proud of him!!!!

a little update

Previously, I have not really been able to eat any carbs (besides beans, oats or an occassional apple) without my numbers going crazy.

But, things are a changin'

Today I had my usual salad for breakfast with some eggs. Usually, I have a small bowl of oatmeal but Lance made some pancakes and I REALLY wanted one. Despite the fact that I knew eating one would make my numbers do loopdy loops I decided to give it a try.

One hour later... i tested my blood sugar... 113!!!!   Did I read that right?!!?!?!!?!??! THAT'S AMAZINGLY GREAT (anything below 145 is good) whoa!

So, that lead to some more experimenting.  For dinner I made chicken and some rice, corn and beans.  Normally, I would just eat the corn and beans with the chicken (plus my salad)...Corn and Beans are both carb-a-licious.  Today, I chose to have some rice as well.  A week ago, a dinner like that would have put me close to 200.  Today... 150 (I hour after). Like I said earlier anything below 145 is good so that 150 was a little high which tells me next time, maybe a little less rice...but STILL this is AMAZING! If i still continue to see this kind of improvement, next week i'll be able to eat the diabetic diet that the dietitian recommended without any issue.

This is day 3 of no insulin and no numbers above 150.

Also, it is interesting to point out that previously, if my number was high after the 1 hour test... the 2 hour test would not show much improvement and I would have to take insulin or drink apple cider vinegar to bring it down.. but NOW... the numbers are going down on their own.

Last night I set an alarm for every 2 hours to be sure that my numbers aren't going crazy while I am sleeping. Each time I tested my sugars the number was in 80-90 range.  Excellent!  AND ... no ketones.

I truly believe that God is in the process of healing my body. I have been getting prayer at church each Sunday and I know there are several others who are praying for me as well.  I believe our God is a God of miracles and I believe He will continue to heal my body!  I also heard today that in Javan's sunday school class they asked for any prayer requests and he asked that they pray for the baby in my tummy.  Its makes me so happy to know that he sees and hears us praying for for the baby's health and he believes in His healing ability.

And now.. i am going to attempt to make the insulin generator juice.  I know, I know...I said I was going to make it awhile ago. I'll be honest with ya... im not looking forward to it. But, here goes nothin!  It God's medicine, right... so I better take it ;-)

At Javans big t-ball game on a hot 90 degree day.

Won't go down without a fight

Yesterday I had an appointment with the Endo.  I was excited to go because I  was going to get my bloodwork back and also I was anxious to tell the doctor that I was completely off of insulin at night!!

Yes, you read that right. I adjusted my diet... and now, with no insulin, always wake up under 90!!

The test results...

c-peptide - these are released whenever you release insulin from your pancreas. Since it is so hard to test "insulin" they test the levels of c-peptide.  The amount was very small.  Which means I am type 1 diabetic.  Its still so crazy to think!!!  Anyway, for me it is encouraging because my pancreas IS still releasing a small amount...there is still hope for me to restore my pancreas- as long as I can stay off of the insulin

Here's why:  Just like all of your other organs, the cells regenerate over time. I was told about every 6 months you basically regenerate all of your organs.  So, whatever is wrong with my pancreas MAY heal itself over the next 6 months (of course, it may take longer...that's just an average) or so as the cells are regenerated.  BUT... if my pancreas becomes dependent on the insulin then it will rely on it so much that it will never create insulin again (i haven't been able to find out if that were to happen what the chances of the pancreas possibly recreating insulin is - but I know it is slim. Truthfully, this isn't talked about much at all....people don't know about this...doctors don't teach this kind of "therapy", which I will discuss later).

A1C - my A1C was 9.  The A1c number determines the average amount of sugar in my blood over the past 3 months. Anything over 8 in pregnancy is worth worrying about. i asked what the range was (like is it 1 out of 10) and he said  "Oh, no.. i've seen people with an a1c of 30 or 40!!" but 9 isn't good.  It means my average blood sugar over the past 3 months was about 250.  WHICH...also leads to the fact that I was a diabetic before pregnancy (since I am only 3 months at this point).

GAD antibodies - these are antibodies that attack your pancreas. I think I wrote about this before, but I can't remember so here you go... Nobody really knows the cause of type 1 diabetes. Some theories are that you have acquired a virus that attacks your pancreas which results in it not producing insulin. That's basically the GAD antibodies (there are a few other antibodies to test for... but its an expensive blood test...so we started here).The bad thing is that these "attacking virus's" or antibodies can actually cause scar tissue on the pancreas which also could inhibit insulin producing. Scar tissue might take a long time to heal... but anyway, you've got to get the antibodies gone first.  Well, these test results didn't come back yet... to be continued... 

p.s. another theory of why the pancreas stops producing insulin is an allergy to MILK. Yeah, crazy, huh. Which is why i've cut it out at this point. Not worth the chance (plus, I only drink milk in cereal and I don't allow those carbs in my diet).

Everything else came back normal (thyroid, kidney, whatever else he tested me for...)

So, I told the doctor that I was off of the insulin at night. 

He was LESS THAN pleased.

He told me that I am starving the baby. I must not be getting enough calories to have a number like that. He told me that I am probably spilling ketones which is just as dangerous for the baby as high blood sugars. He also said "Even if you don't need it to keep your number down... I want you to take at least SOME insulin at night"  to keep my ketones even.  I could not convince him that I was getting enough calories!! 

I wanted to SCREAM!!!  

So, what did I do when I left the doctors office???  Did I immediately inject myself with an insulin shot!! 

Heck no!!!

I went to the store and bought ketone strips!!!!!  And guess what... NO KETONES IN MY URINE!!

So, that will be part of my daily routine.  

By the way, i have now gone 2 days without any insulin (day or night). My numbers have not gone over 150 and my waking number is always under 90.

For reference, here is what I am doing:

A large breakfast, medium lunch, small dinner and a bedtime snack if I am feeling hungry.  

Salad at every meal (with oil and vinegar for the dressing).  I've cut out red meat (for the most part... i'm sure I will cheat a little). I've cut out milk (for the most part.. i did read that if you find ketones in your urine to drink milk so I may have a glass from time to time). I have at LEAST one carb at every meal (depending on my blood sugar number and what activity I plan to do after the meal)... however, I am extremely choosy about the carbs.  plain oatmeal made with water, any beans, and apples are the main carbs I eat. None of these shoot my blood sugar over 150 (that is because of the fiber) AND of course, there are carbs in vegetables which I eat a lot of.  I've cut out all fatty foods....Well, bad fats... I enjoy Avacados (when I can afford them. heh.) and nuts as a snack if I am feeling hungry in between meals. 

If I know that I am going to be doing some physical activity, i will eat an extra carb to cover the energy that burns the carbs.

I bought a juicer the other day. I've played around with it a little bit but haven't made any of the juices that are recommended in the little books it came with. I bought it on craigslist and they threw in 3 OLD (like from the 70's) books about juicing for health. In those AND in 2 of the books I got from the library they talk about the "insulin generator" juice which is supposed to promote insulin production. I plan on drinking this juice everyday. 

That says how determined I am.  The juice includes brussel sprouts, cabbage, carrots, and string beans (BARF) .  BUT... if it gets my pancreas to increase insulin production... its worth it. 

I mean.. i drink apple cider vinegar every day now...for goodness sakes (another trick to keeping blood sugar low)!!!

By the way, for those who are interested...juicing is extremely beneficial because you  are able to extract a more concentrated amount of nutrients from the food.  THAT'S why they always say "chew chew chew your food" ... yes, there IS the choking factor.. but its also that the more you chew the more nutrients you get.  Juicing, however, removes all fiber from your food... therefore it shouldn't be the ONLY way you get your veggies.

What I found incredibly interesting was that these books written back in the 70's talked ALL about adjusting your diet to produce more insulin... they talked about your pancreas becoming reliant on the artificial insulin... that was 40 years ago!!!!! 

YET... doctors are so quick to diagnose type 1 diabetes and throw you on the insulin without first trying the natural option (of course, i would say that the majority of patients would probably prefer that option over giving up meat and milk and eating a salad for breakfast, lunch, and dinner).  I believe that if that c-peptide number is greater than 0... there is still hope.  Heck, i don't know... there might still be hope if that number is 0... 

Anyway, I'm not going to give my pancreas 6 months off of its duties while I finish out this pregnancy. I'm going to MAKE THAT BAD BOY WORK!! 

Feel the burn, baby... feel the burn! haha. 

And continue to pray that God will heal my pancreas and restore the insulin.

In other news.. i was laying on my stomach on Thursday night and I felt the baby give one swift kick!! haha. It made me jump!! I think it was especially hard because I was laying on my stomach so it pushed against the bed.  :-) It felt so good to know that there is a strong healthy baby in there!!

Javan asked me if he could grab a snack in the car...of course a back of frozen blueberries wasn't really what I had in mind. Haha. At least he's healthy....and blue.

This afternoon I asked Javan if he wanted to go for a walk with me.. his answer "why mom? Did you eat too many carbs?" then he was quiet for a few min and said "mom, what are carbs anyway..."

He is such a little pip! Haha.

Isn't this what we all would do on a Friday afternoon? Haha

You can't really tell in the pic but he's wearing my heels!!

My life got flipped, turned upside down....

Yesterday was probably one of THE most difficult days I've experienced in a long time.

It started off at the Endocrinologist at 8am.  He was very kind and actually quite compassionate (for a doctor) and spent PLENTY of time with me answering my questions and discussing my situation.

The bottom line is that I have type 1 diabetes and probably had it before I got pregnant.

He sent me with insulin and all sorts of information that was just a **little** overwhelming!  He really wanted me to see a dietitian right away and the only opening they had was the same day at 11:30... sigh... the day was already exhausting. The dietitian gave me even more info about my diet (stuff I already had from Kim) and showed me how to inject the needle at bedtime.

INJECT A NEEDLE...I keep wondering if this is my life or if I'm in a nightmare that won't end!

I was still hopeful about another appointment that I made at 3:40. He was previously an OBGYN and went back to school to learn about diet and weight loss and healing your body through foods, etc. (i actually have no idea EXACTLY what he went to school for but that about sums it up).

What I got from him wasn't exactly what I was hoping.

Basically.... he agrees I'm type 1 (almost for sure but ordered the same blood work as the ENDO), he believes  I need to take insulin at night for sure. But, he said I can modify my diet during the day so I don't have to take the daytime insulin AND he believes cutting back on carbs is perfectly fine for the baby.  He basically told me... if you know you are going to go on a walk or a bike ride... eat some carbs.  Basically.. just eat the carbs when you know you need to burn them...otherwise.. meats, nuts, vegetables... I don't know he gave me so much paperwork that explains it all thoroughly and I haven't taken the time to look through it all.

After that doctors appt, we had to stop at a fast food joint for something to eat because we had about 20 min until Javan's gymnastics class. Most places have salads so fast food hasn't been much of an issue (plus, I really like the salads too)

but... um... word to the wise... taco bell is NOT the best choice for a diabetic.

(Did I just call myself a diabetic?? ugh. that will take some getting used to!)

Their salads are basically 1 small piece of chicken... lettuce and rice and beans all layed in a taco bowl (carbs, ugh!) and when i tried to dump my lettuce and chicken pieces out the taco bowl broke and every time I kept trying to move it ... it kept breaking which resulted in a emotional breakdown in the middle of taco bell.

There's nothing like crying in Taco Bell to really sum up the day.

Well, actually, what was the icing on the cake was when i made Javan a fruit and yogurt smoothie when we got home (one of those favorite healthy snacks that we always had that I have to limit). I was fine with making it (i even took a sneaky lick...shh....) but it was afterwards when Javan was walking around drinking it and I ran into him and he DROPPED THE WHOLE THING...

Blueberry, strawberry yogurt smoothie deliciousness all over the walls and floors. ***sigh*** I cried more while I helped Javan clean it up.

After Javan went to bed Lance and I discussed the whole home birth. Something that I wanted so badly is beginning to become less and less of a reality as time goes on.  If I could have maintained my levels at bedtime at a healthy rate without insulin I could do it... but I can't.  I can't control what my body does while I am sleeping. I must take insulin at night. Being an insulin dependent mommy means a home birth is pretty much out of the question. My midwife is going to speak with the doctor at the birthing center to see what their thoughts are on the situation of having a baby at the center but its highly unlikely AND even if they were willing to.. i don't know if I want to take that kind of risk.

My evening was spent crying, wishing, hoping, praying, wanting and REALIZING that this is my life...these are my options ... and I will still have a healthy baby come November (as long as God protected him/her during the first 3 months with high sugars.)  We will have a sonogram next month that looks closely at the baby's organs and brain development, etc...PLEASE continue to pray that this baby is strong and healthy in there.

By the way, this morning after taking insulin my number was 106... much better than the 140 that it was!! I woke up very shaky and thought my numbers must be very low. The doctor said that that happened because my body got used to being so high and I will adjust.  I was surprised to get a phone call from the doctor this morning checking in. i guess he is planning on calling every morning until we can get them under 95.

After breakfast (and a little apple cider vinegar) my number was 127!! That is WITHOUT any additional insulin! I believe I can control my daytime numbers and keep away from the daytime insulin as much as possible.

I forgot to mention

The midwife said that they baby is AT LEAST 12 weeks and I calculated about 14 weeks at this point. so I am somewhere between 12 and 14 weeks. We will find out more next month when we do the diagnostic ultrasound.

Baby Ferris

The good, the bad, and the ugly

So, its been a LOOOOONG couple of weeks. I feel terrible for Javan because I am been so distracted and stressed.  Any free minutes that I aren't spent working are spent either sleeping or googling. But, I think the mysteries are getting solved now so things are looking up!

Well, first of all. Last week was a great week. Javan had his preschool graduation... which I totally forgot my camera. I tried to take pics with my phone but they were aweful.  That says where my brain has been lately!! haha.  Saturday was Javan's first T-ball game. He had a great time and I DID remember the camera for THAT. Shew. I will load up pics soon.

The diabetes. Welp... I bought a glucose meter and ...well... my blood sugars were absolutely wild. I would eat 8 wheat thins and they would go up to like 260 or something crazy like that. It was a difficult week, trying to figure out what I was able to eat and what not. I tried just cutting down on the carbs but it didn't help.

It was frustrating and scary and exhausting. On Thursday, I ended up on the floor in tears, begging God to take it all away from me and take care of it. I couldn't handle all of this stress any longer.  That night I had a dream that they did an ultrasound and there was a little baby girl in there with dark curly hair and she looked like a toddler and she was DANCING and PLAYING and DOING FLIPTY LOOPS in my tummy and the doctor goes "doesn't she know she's not supposed to be dancing in there. haha.

Lance said that it was God's way of telling me everything is going to be JUST FINE.

Anyway, the next day I noticed that when I ate pickles my blood sugar dropped tremendously. Lance and I were talking about it and realized that we thought maybe it was the vinegar.  So, I pretended I was at a bar and took a shot of  good ol Apple Cider Vinegar.  Boom. my blood sugars dropped about 50 points!!  Unbelievable!   So... I cut out all carbs and fruit and drank 1T of apple cider vinegar after each meal and exercised 30 min a day and got them down to normal ranges 90-140 but still that waking number I couldn't get down below 140. That number should not be over 100 when pregnant.

I am seeing a doctor tomorrow morning but my midwife believes that I must have had diabetes before this pregnancy and didn't know it. That does explain the 10lb weight loss over the past year. I didn't know that was a symptom. Which, the scary news is that high blood sugars during the first trimester can be very dangerous for the baby... but I didn't know and I can't change time. I just have to trust that God's got it under control. He's hasn't let me down yet!

And speaking of the baby....I went in to see the midwife about the diabetes and while I was there I had an ultrasound. I know, mom... ultrasounds are dangerous for the baby ... BUT IT WAS DRIVING ME CRAZY... and I think the relief of stress was worth it to see a HEALTHY BABY KICKING AND JUMPING AND SUCKING HIS/HER THUMB. Oh how I cried! It was so beautiful!! I have a picture, I will post next.

I think life is on its way to being back to "normal" with a slight variation with this whole diabetes thing.  I can handle that...... :-)

God is testing my patience

Apparently, I needed a lesson on patience. We went to the midwife today and STILL no heartbeat. technically, I should be about 10-12 weeks.

We toyed around with the idea of going back for another ultrasound on Wednesday but decided against yet. Yes, if I got a heartbeat on the ultrasound, it would ease my peace of mind but if I didn't I think it would just make things worse.... She did hear the pulse of my placenta, so that is good.

The options are:

1. The baby is developing behind the placenta and we just can't see or hear it
2. I actually had a miscarriage and got pregnant again right away meaning that I'm not as far along as we thought. This sounds ridiculous because I didn't experience any bleeding but the midwife says it CAN happen and the body could have absorbed the bleeding...or something like that.
3. I have a blighted ovum - which basically gives you the signs of pregnancy (including increased hcg levels) but no baby. if this were the case, I should have already miscarried by now... but its a possibility.

The thing is...even if there is a complication with the baby, we wouldn't do a D&C anyway. So, we'd have to wait for my body to naturally miscarry. So, what's the point of going for another ultrasound. The next appointment is on June 13th. We can only pray that by then we will hear a heartbeat.

Oh and my blood sugar levels were pretty good. They were a tiny bit high but not alarming. :-)

My big boy

Every day my litle baby gets more and more independant. This was a big day, though...

He had been practicing making his own oatmeal and today he did every step ALL BY HIMSELF!!

He got his bowl, scooped his oatmeal, reached the milk on the top shelf (I can't believe he is THAT tall) poured his own milk, microwaved it himself (and even used oven mits to get the hot bowl out) and then poured just the right amount of frozen blueberries.

Its amazing how excited one can get about oatmeal...but I am THRILLED. One less thing I have for do FOR him.  Woo hoo!

My big boy

Every day my litle baby gets more and more independant. This was a big day, though...

He had been practicing making his own oatmeal and today he did every step ALL BY HIMSELF!!

He got his bowl, scooped his oatmeal, reached the milk on the top shelf (I can't believe he is THAT tall) poured his own milk, microwaved it himself (and even used oven mits to get the hot bowl out) and then poured just the right amount of frozen blueberries.

Its amazing how excited one can get about oatmeal...but I am THRILLED. One less thing I have for do FOR him. Woo hoo!

Jesus

We all have different perceptions of what Jesus is like.

I've imagined him as strong, loving, compassionate, full of grace.... the list goes on and on and on..

But, Javan has a way of describing Jesus a little different than the average adult.

Here are a few of the many comments that i hear out of Javan over and over again several times a week.

Can you jump over that huge building? nope. nobody can. Only Jesus can if he wanted to

If Jesus wanted to stomp in a mud puddle he could and he could stomp so hard he would make the whole world shake.

You know, Jesus could eat this whole town if he wanted to.

Today, I put Javan in time out because he talked back to me. I said "You can't talk disrespectfully to me like that. Actually, you can't talk disrespectfully to ANY adult" Javan replies "Even Jesus?"

Its interesting to me how he is trying to figure out on his own who Jesus is.. what he is like.

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Saturday was a gorgeous day so we decided to ride our bikes into town and go to a little festival.  They had a fun kids "rock" band playing called the "Doo Dad's". The kids danced and listened while they had bubbles blowing all around (see pic below). In the pic Java was sitting and listening - it just that I couldn't get a good picture of him dancing around. haha! 

At the festival they had all stores of airwalk things for the kids to play on. AND IT WAS ALL FREE. We were expecting to pay something. Javan had an awesome time. 

As we were leaving we saw a booth selling trees for in the neighborhood. I really wanted to put a shady tree in our back yard. Lance wasn't completely sold on buying a tree, so I entered my name in a silent auction. AND I WON!!! 

Lance and Javan planted our tree the next day while I napped :-) I'm such a lucky lady. 

Oh baby baby!

Yes, we are PREGNANT! and super excited. Of course, the past few weeks have been quite the whirlwind.

I have irregular periods so I started calculating from my first positive pregnancy test that I got on March 19th. We met our midwife the week before Easter and she couldn't hear a heartbeat yet, but it was still a little early so she wasn't worried.  What she WAS worried about was my Glucose levels were off the charts! So, she scheduled an appt for me to come to the birth center where she works to get some bloodwork done there. 

In the meantime, we decided since it was Easter weekend we should tell our close friends and immediate family. I'm not a good secret keeper and I didn't think i could handle hanging out with Lance's family for Easter and NOT say anything!! haha. 

At this point, we thought we were 10 weeks along. We made this video and sent it to my immediate family.

The following Thursday is when everything went down hill. At this point, I thought I was a full 10 weeks along but the nurse could not find a 10 week old fetus in my tummy AT ALL. She was very concerned that there was something terribly wrong. They couldn't find a heartbeat either.

****start panicking now*****

They took my blood to test my hcg levels.  HCG is the hormone that starts producing when you get pregnant. The HCG should double every 48-72 hours in a healthy pregnancy. They also took my blood sugar levels.

My blood sugar levels were something crazy high like 270. I have to monitor my diet for the next few weeks and we will revisit the glucose issue and determine if its gestational diabetes and how to manage THAT.

My HCG looked good.  She said that maybe I was around 7.5 weeks.  But the real test was NEXT week they would take my HCG levels AGAIN and make sure they are increasing. They should double every few days. 

****tick tock*** 

The most torturous couple of days....

 it has been a great opportunity to curl up in my Heavenly Father's lap and soak up his love and peace.

Well, I got my HCG levels today. They were 39,000...they are INCREASING! Praise God!  Its great news. 

Predicting how far along you are by your HCG levels is nearly impossible. Here is a chart I found:

• 3 weeks LMP: 5 - 50 mIU/ml
• 4 weeks LMP: 5 - 426 mIU/ml
• 5 weeks LMP: 18 - 7,340 mIU/ml
• 6 weeks LMP: 1,080 - 56,500 mIU/ml
• 7 - 8 weeks LMP: 7, 650 - 229,000 mIU/ml
• 9 - 12 weeks LMP: 25,700 - 288,000 mIU/ml
• 13 - 16 weeks LMP: 13,300 - 254,000 mIU/ml
• 17 - 24 weeks LMP: 4,060 - 165,400 mIU/ml
• 25 - 40 weeks LMP: 3,640 - 117,000 mIU/ml
• Non-pregnant females: <5.0 mIU/ml
• Postmenopausal females: <9.5 mIU/ml

* These numbers are just a GUIDELINE-- every woman’s level of hCG can rise differently. It is not necessarily the level that matters but rather the change in the level.

The ranges of these numbers is so wide, there really is no way to predict due dates at all! My midwife said if i really want to know my due date I can have a diagnostic sonogram. We decided to opt out of that. The midwife agreed with our decision, having a sonogram won't change anything and if there is a complication there isn't anything we can do about it anyway. We will have a sonogram later on when we find out the sex of the baby.

 In the meantime, if we are going to have a miscarriage then I'm going to leave that in God's hands and let it run its course. 

Please continue to pray for my health (blood sugar levels) and that our baby is healthy and growing.

We have a doctors appt on May 16th to tackle the blood sugar issue. Maybe we will hear a heartbeat then :-)