My mom went home today.

We all enjoyed having her here and I successfully completed my first day on my own with 2 babies and a 6 year old.

It actually went surprisingly well... I can do this!

Tonight I went to bed early because I really feel like my body just needs rest.... and here I am at 12:30am writing on my blog.

I hate that when you know you should be sleeping but your brain won't turn off. blah

Anyway, i thought this would be a good time to send out an update on the goings on around here.

Violet is such a sweet little baby. So easy. She sleeps a lot and well and basically only wakes up to eat.

its so funny to me how all three of my children were so so very different as babies.

Javan was the colicky one. He just cried and cried all of the time. I'm pretty sure nobody slept. All he wanted to do was nurse non-stop. I had to nurse him every 2 hours. Which he would literally nurse for 40 min if I let him and then it was another hour and a half later he wanted to nurse again. haha. he was a nut. It was a real workout (literally - bouncing and swaddling and swinging - whatever it took) to get him to sleep.

Cosette didn't want to be held too much. I never heard of such a thing before but it worked every time that she would cry and cry and you just lay her down and she was happy and content.

Violet is the opposite of Cosette. She LOVES being held. Most times if she cries (which she doesn't do often anyway) and she is not hungry... she just wants to be snuggled up on someone's chest and she is happy as can be.

So many people ask me whether Cosette is jealous. And she is NOT at all. She really loves her little baby sister. The only time she really cries about Violet is when we have to move Violet for fear she might get smothered (literally smothered) by all of the "kisses" and "hugs" she gives.... and occasional eye, nose, and mouth poking.

Javan, as I expected, is an awesome big brother. He loves to help and really is a HUGE help with Cosette. He loves to snuggle Violet :-)

As for my health, I am trying hard not to get too frustrated about the whole thing. When I was pregnant with Cosette, my blood sugars stabilized in the 3rd trimester and stayed that way until I got pregnant again.

With Violet, my blood sugars stabilized in the 3rd trimester but just last Friday they just went totally wacky again.

I spent a good amount of time in tears about it trying to figure out what to do. I really have a hard time with doctors.

They always seem to over prescribe and its frustrating (and a waste of money from my perspective) but the numbers kept on creeping up there and I knew something needed to be done.

My plan was to just get some insulin from the doctor.

That's it. Walk in. Get insulin - take it once or twice to get my numbers down and never go back.

Since every OTHER doc I have seen has been quick to pump me full of drugs I didn't think it would be an issue.

But, this time I went to Dr. Brooks who is well known for leaning in the direction of natural medicine (he is the one I saw for the pneumonia - he doesn't even vaccine his kids - one of many reasons why I love him)

He would NOT prescribe the insulin.

I couldn't decide if I was happy or mad about that. lol. I mean, its awesome that I finally found someone who was willing to look outside the diabetes box BUT..this was the ONE time I actually wanted it! haha.

Anyway, he did some bloodwork to see if he could pinpoint some kind of autoimmune disorder and/or an endrocrine blockage somewhere (thyroid??) One thing that is very clear is that my body is under a huge amount of stress and that ALONE can cause insulin resistance, add in some extra hormones, and some other issues and you've got a recipe for diabetes disaster.

Once Doc Brooks gives a little more insight (from the bloodwork). I am planning on moving to a naturopathic/homeopathic doctor (most likely in a addition to Doc Brooks - although I did discuss this plan with him and he was a-ok with me just using an NP) that can work with me on some homeopathic remedies, etc...

This Sunday at church I got prayer for healing.

One of the many prayer warriors at our church (who also is known for getting prophetic words) told me that The Lord told her to tell me that I'm on the right path.  That before I was going down a different path but I changed to a new path and that is the right road.

This woman knew nothing about why I was getting prayer or anything about my situation. She wasn't one of the women who was praying for me. The Lord just spoke to her and she went ahead and relayed that message.

I assume what He meant was that before I was choosing to take care of this on my own but going to a DOCTOR and possibly a Naturopath as well is the new path I have decided to take and it IS the right path.

I really needed that affirmation. He is so good at knowing what I need to hear.

Always in awe of Him

In the meantime, my blood pressure is still high - argh. I was told that it can take quite awhile (for some people) to lower blood pressure after pregnancy. And for some, it never goes down naturally ... i don't even want to think about that. Then, I wonder, if it has anything to do with that digoxin that I was taking???

My biggest personal struggle is my weight. Of course, the weight loss was a side effect of that 2 weeks that I was sick with pneumonia. High blood sugars can also cause weight loss (its called ketosis and people actually do this on purpose to lose weight - think atkins). I realize that I'm not going to just gain weight overnight... but its painful when I look in the mirror. I weigh a measly 103lbs right now. I have NO butt. I really take the term "skin and bones" to a whole new level.

Its slightly comical because most people can't fit into their pre pregnancy clothes because of weight gain.

My pre-pregnancy clothes are falling off of me.

Of course, how does one gain weight when they can't really eat carbs??? I realize I need to solve the first problem (getting healthy) before I can really address this "side effect" but anyone who knows anything about me knows I tend to get a bit obsessive about things.

The best thing I can do is pack on the calories... well, vegetables aren't really all that calorie rich SO healthy oils and fats... extra protein.

I've decided to try to add some muscle mass to my body by working out... but its a VERY fine balance because i can't afford to burn more calories.

Anyway, it will all work out. I just need to take it slow and one day at a time.

So, here are a whole bunch of pics I've taken over the past month or two. The first ones are from a town festival we went to with Santa and bombfires in the middle of the street. It was really a fun night..

There are some from Christmas, a couple of Javan at his wrestling tourney and then some from the baby, of course....

https://picasaweb.google.com/115639023178791141355/20130201#

2013-02-01