First day of preschool

Today was the first day of preschool for you.

I know I've missed a lot of blogging over the summer. I have so many cute little phrases and things you have done that I promise I will blog soon so that those memories are not forgotten...

But right now, I just want to blog about this day and how much I love you.

Running a few minutes late, driving like a madwomen to get you there on time.. the thought crossed my mind its slightly scary the sacrifices a mother might make to get thier child to his first day of school on time.... regardless, we got there 5 min late, but we got there.

You were standing next to me while I registered you, your cute little baseball shirt that you picked out to wear that day, excited, fidgeting, adorable.

I had to give the director a family picture for your file. Our picture... just me and you at the park. YOU are my family. Many of the other kids there have big families with lots of children and a mom and dad that are still married but our family is different. Just the two of us.

And for a minute I thought about how important you are to me. Its not just that I love you... every mother loves their child... but that you are everything to me.. you are my world.. my little family.

I'm sure in the future I will remarry and maybe you will have other brothers and sisters (or maybe not) and chances are you might be tempted to be jealous but I want you to know that there is NO ONE that can be what you are to me.

YOU are too special, Javan. Even though you were just little and didn't understand what was going on when your daddy and I were divorcing... you stood by me and loved me through the tears. You knew when to give me a hug. You knew when to make me laugh when I needed a smile. You were my strength and defended me. You kept me busy so I could forget about all that was going on.

Somehow, in that little tiny mind of yours you knew... you knew just what I needed. You carried me through more than any adult friend could have.

And that, my little love, has created a special bond between you and me that could never be replicated.

I am so thankful for YOU... my little family.